Crackpot
by sandlotus
Summary: Things that make you wonder
1. Chapter 1

**These are meant to be screwed up, and not make sense. They are not a story.**

"Konoha brat! Forget the anti toxin!" Kankuro struggled against the hands restraining him; glancing up through strands of sweaty brown hair as Sakura half turned with a raised eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Haruno! Let...me...Go!"

Sakura rolled her sea foam green eyes. "Where do you think you'll be going in your condition?"

"I'm gonna kick some Suna traitor's ass!"

Sakura sighed irritably; placing a hand over Kankuro's mouth as she injected an anti toxin before she fed an IV of sedatives into him and turned to Temari. "Your brother is such a difficult patient."

After Sasori dies.....

Kankuro was glad to have his brother back, that went without saying. But here he was; pacing back and forth in front of the gates entrance as he waited for the leaf shinobi. They were preparing to leave the village; and he wanted to give that medical ninja a piece of his mind. He turned as he heard footsteps, and his eyes narrowed at the sight of pink hair.

"You bitch! How dare you kill my hero!"

Her eyes widened in disbelief.

"He was assisting to kill your brother, and you're upset about me killing him?

"He was the best puppeteer ever!"

"Aside from Chiyo, you mean."

"Oh, screw Chiyo. Akasuna no Sasori could string circles around her!"

"Sasori was evil!"

"He was misunderstood!"

Both ninja crossed their arms and glared at the other.

"Chiyo saved your brother, Sasori helped kill him. He left you for dead as well, and you're defending him?"

"It was a fair fight! There is no equality in the life of a ninja! It's a ninja's duty to complete their mission! And that was his!"

Sakura stood in front of Kankuro. "Gaara. Died. Because Akatsuki wanted his tanuki. You're okay with that because you have some sick hero worship for the guy?"

Kankuro paused.

"The least you could have done was let me have a rematch!"

Gaara silently came up behind Kankuro and tapped him on the shoulder. "No. I wanted to fight him."

"Are you outta your fucking mind?"

"We've all established I'm crazy."

"Gaara..."

"I should have been the one to take care of him. Sand versus sand . Puppets can be broken."

"Sand can be disintegrated!"

"It was my fight."

"Wrong, baby brother. It was mine. As your older brother, it was my job to protect you, and I was the one to fight the dude to get you back..."

"And you lost..."

Sakura sighed and turned away.

"Boys..."

In the land of make believe.......

Itachi was slowly stirring some cream into a cup of coffee; watching the black liquid turn caramel colored distractedly. He tensed when he felt arms wrap around his waist.

"I loooooooove you, big brother...."

Itachi glanced over his shoulder to Sasuke with a disbelieving expression. "The_ fuck_ is wrong with you?"

Sasuke smiled sweetly. "Nooooooooothing. Can't I just let my brother know how much he means to me??"

Itachi blinked; removing the arms from around him with an uneasy expression.

"Who the hell put prozac in your cereal?"

Sasuke shrugged carelessly and skipped out the door merrily; grabbing his bag as he went.


	2. Chapter 2

Kakashi Hatake was walking away from the training field; and there was something in his expression that was visible outside the mask that made it obvious he was morbidly disturbed.

So a friend, and comrade came up to him to try to get his mind off of whatever the problem was, although out of courtesy, he asked if something was wrong first.

Kakashi glanced into Asuma's face with horror.

"Gai..."

Asuma immediately straightened out with a stern expression. "What about him? Is something wrong?"

But the silver haired ninja just waved a hand.

"...Was being his usually annoyingly cheerful self. So out of sheer stupidity I asked him how the hell he could manage to always be so happy, and energetic. There's no way a normal man doesn't at least frown once in awhile...."

"Kakashi, you're rambling..."

"He....he said 'Screw one Rock Lee once a day, and you'll see how I can be so cheerful.'"

"Kakashi-sensei, what are you reading?"

The orange book lowered slightly to reveal Naruto's eager expression before the jounin turned away. "Nothing that will interest you."

That got Naruto's attention, and curiosity and he began following his sensei.

"Kakashi-senei, what are you reading?"

"Go away."

"Kakashi-sensei, wha-"

"A book."

"Can I read it?"

Kakashi sighed aggaravatedly and rolled his eyes. "No, Naruto."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so."

"Buit Whyyyyy?"

"Naruto!"

"Seeeeeensei, you said I need to read more."

Kakashi turned with a sigh. "You better shut up if I let you read it."

"I will."

The book was handed over and Naruto cracked it open; after reading two pages his jaw dropped open; his face a full fledged shade of crimson before he snapped it shut again. He glanced at his teacher with a disbelieving gaze.

"Told you it wouldn't interest you."

Naruto began beating his teacher over the head with the book.

"How can you read such crap?! It's a horrible weakness for a ninja! If you need one, pick ramen, not porn! You're a nasty, vile teacher, and need to enter yourself in a monastery!"

_Stars sparkle in your eyes when you smile,_

_when you laugh, you make my heart run with you for a mile._

_I don't know why you did it,_

_but I hope you never quit it._.

There was knocking on the door; and Gaara leant over the paper as his sister walked in.

"Do you mind? I'm busy. I have a lot of work to do."

She rose an eyebrow at his distressed expresison. "I came by to pick up those papers you were supposed to sign, remember?"

Gaara stared at her blankly for a moment before comprehension dawned. "Oh, right. I forgot about them, I'll send them to your office later."

"Forgot about them? Gaara...you don't forget about important, life or death papers. What the hell have you been doing in here cooped up all day if you weren't filling them out?"

She watched as Gaara shifted slightly; crossing his arms over his desk. "That's none of your-"

She reached forward and snatched the papers from underneath Gaara; reading over the lines. She blinked and reread them before bursting out laughing. "Whats this? A love note?"

She waved it over Gaara's head; grinning evilly as he reached out for them desperately. "Temari! Give it back!"

"Awww, does my wittle baby brother have an itty bitty crush on a leafy?"

Gaara growled angrily and rose to his feet; his sand coming up in a wave.

"Nuh uh. That sand comes within a foot of me, and I will make sure this gets published. In every Suna and Konoha library. Titled as, "My Love For Thee, Rock Lee."


End file.
